my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
