so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
