i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You left your phone here
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