The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
