i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
