Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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