were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
