am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize