one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everclear isn't food dammit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
