that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How does it feel to date your dad?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
