My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
