my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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