now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
