every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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