That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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