Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
