So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
