dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
