i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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