You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
