Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
