I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
