I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
