somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
