she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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