So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
