I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
