she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
