In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize