The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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