When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ok first of all what the fuck
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
