i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
BRING THE BAGELS
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
