There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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