Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
