Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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