dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
