i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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