I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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