I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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