Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
