a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
