Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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