whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
