That's intense
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
