did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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