Tell her she can't have a vagina
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
