I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
