Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize