we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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