You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
