He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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