You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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