dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
