Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
