its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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