it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
