we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
