That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
