So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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