Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize