It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
