drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
