It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
